Friday, June 26, 2009

Jon and Kate, my take

Picture By Karen Alquist, TLC

I know that a lot of people are 'over' the Jon and Kate saga, but I am not. I'm a HUGE fan of the show. Those adorable little eight faces draw me in and I'm hooked..line and sinker! I know most people 'knew' they would eventually divorce, but I watched the show and still CRIED. I'm devastated, because this has become the norm in America. I am blessed to not be in this Kate's shoes to even entertain the idea of divorce. Nor, am I in the shoes of many women around the world. But, divorce has affected my life through varying relationships. Each marriage has different circumstances, but I thought the perspective of this letter holds true to what I feel. The principles this author refers to can also be applied to different areas of our life. I think we all could probably work harder in our marriages, relationships, etc., and I think this sheds some light on how. God is bigger than sin, and only he can heal this family. I pray that those close to them rally to help this family seek God's best for them, together or apart. And, I challenge us, America to get off our high horse and stop assuming that we know the ends and outs to a marriage that we get an hour long glimpse into each week.

By Ginger Kolbaba, from Today's Christian Women's Magazine

If I could speak to the star-mom of Jon & Kate Plus Eight, here’s what I’d tell her
June 24, 2009 |

Dear Kate:

In the past you’ve been vocal about your Christian faith. To be sure, I don’t know all the circumstances of your situation. I haven’t “walked in your shoes” or carried the burdens you’ve had to bear. I’ve heard the rumors that there’s been infidelity with possibly no repentance. And if that’s true, my heart breaks for all you’ve had to experience through that situation. I’ve seen “up close and personal” the devastation that infidelity can have on a marriage and family.

Having said that, as a sister in Christ to you, take what I’m about to say in the spirit of love and concern: Please don’t do what you’re doing.

And I’m not just talking to you. I’m talking to your husband too.

For too long I’ve watched Christian couples live self-centered lives, pursuing their own desires, talking about following Christ and the principles of our faith, but not actually living them out. And when life gets difficult—as it does for every couple—they throw in the towel, acting helpless, showing to the world that when the apostle Paul said, “We are more than conquerors through Christ,” he didn’t actually mean it.

For too long I’ve watched Christians show to those outside our faith that Christianity, in fact, doesn’t strengthen us or make us any different from people who don’t follow Jesus. Instead I hear couples say, “The kids will be better off to have calm. It’s not good for them to see us arguing. Everything will be just fine. We’re doing this for the kids. It’s all for the good of the kids.”

It’s rubbish. Kate (and Jon), who’s in control of the peace and calm of the kids? You are. You have the responsibility to bring calm into your family. But the good news is that God brings the grace and power to help you do that, through his Word, through prayer, through the community of believers, and through good old-fashioned determination. Why wash your hands of it, as though to say, It’s not my fault. I don’t know how else to manage it but to separate. I have no control over the situation.

Other people may say that. But not us. Not those of us who say we believe in the power of Jesus Christ and what he did for us on the cross.

You say you love your children. For the sake of your family, for the sake of how you’re portraying Christianity to the world, and for the sake of your own souls, quit the TV show and get some privacy, get into some good solid, biblical counseling and accountability, grow up, and start acting on your beliefs.

Model to your children and to the world that when life gets difficult, you do the right and courageous thing: You stand firm in your faith, you pray desperately, you follow the Golden Rule in the way you treat your spouse (Luke 6:31), you commit to staying together. And you always remember that this is an eternal, spiritual issue.

Kate, right now is when the proverbial rubber meets the road. Right now is when God watches to see if the tests of life will make you into the kind of person he desires or if you will go the way of the world. James tells us to “consider it pure joy . . . whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2–4).

Right now you have been presented with an amazing opportunity. You can teach your children how to look at tough times through spiritual eyes. Is it easy? No. But it beats the alternative of allowing your family to be broken up, crushing your spirit, and fracturing your soul. The road you’re on doesn’t lead to peace and calm for anybody.

True joy and peace come after you’ve fought the good fight and you come out on the other side of this conflict still married and still an intact family. That’s what people who live by faith do. They believe in the power of Christ to overcome every trouble and problem. But you have to do your part and work willingly alongside God’s Holy Spirit. Not giving up. Never giving up.

You can do it, Kate. I believe you have the ability through Christ to stick it out, mature in your spiritual character, and show your children what overcoming difficulties really looks like. That’s loving your children and loving God. That’s showing our culture what following Jesus looks like. You won’t regret it. And neither will your kids.