Monday, May 30, 2011

{Memorial Day and my selfish heart}

I think of myself as pretty patriotic, a proud American if you will.  Today instead of being moved by the buzz in social media that I was so quick to retweet, I sulked. My husband worked today and the kids and I were supposed to pick up on school where we *ahem* left off  two weeks ago. In the quietness of the house after being given some aggravating news I let every bit of my energy pile up into a great big pity party.  I let the weight of the world crash down as though I had nothing to be thankful for, let alone today of all days.  I sobered up real quick when I read this post.  Then I saw Rachel post her Tuesday Prayer Request and I quick poured my pity party into an email.

{numero uno} Hubs hates his job.  He works in law enforcement and his job is heavy with emotional baggage that tears him down daily. My daily prayer for him is to find an opportunity for joy, work unto the Lord, and breakthrough.  We got some crappy news regarding a change in the their payroll which will result in a loss so to speak in pay.  It just feels overwhelming.  We want peace, we want God to move, we want to obey.

{numero dos} My nephew Carter is having major surgery Thursday in Boston to remove am ostomy bag that he has had pretty much all (nearly) four years of his life.  His daddy, had to stay in Texas to {THANK YOU JESUS} start a new job and his heart is heavy not being there for the first time for his little boy. We want healing, we want comfort, we want grace.

{numero tres} So selfish, I want to attend Blog Sugar.  Not going to happen. Feeling fragile about how much I have invested in these 'so-called' on-line friends....because to me they are just friends.  My heart grieves that I can carry someone {read: many} in my heart, that I may not meet this side of Heaven. Realizing my investment has created a void for desiring friendships I so need locally. I want strength, I want deep friendship, I want a Blog Sugar sponsor {keeping it real, folks}.

The reality is that if it matters to me, it matters to God.  It really does, even the ugly parts.  But the reality of that, is He wants to work on my character.  He used my pity party no matter if it was worthy or not, to turn my eyes to Him.  To seek Him.  To thank Him.

And in turn, it reminded me to thank them...

 {My Daddy}

 {My BIL Corey}

...because they have and do sacrifice so much for our  country.  The men and women who have, do, and will fight for and serve our country deserve your thanks and your prayers today and everyday.  Don't let embarrassment, politics, or pity parties keep you from thanking your fellow man/women for their selfless service.  While you are at it, thank their spouse, their children, their Momma because behind every good soldier is a proud family serving right alongside.



Jessica Johnson said...

love you. and i totally get you. i will be praying.

hannah singer said...

oh, jenni. praying especially for y'all right now.
love you. xo

i wanna share some scripture, these verses have been on our hearts lately!

Psalm 33:20-22
Our soul waits for the Lord;
he is our help and our shield.
For our heart is glad in him,
because we trust in his holy name.
Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us,
even as we hope in you.

Psalm 109:21
But you, O God my Lord,
deal on my behalf for your name's sake;
because your steadfast love is good, deliver me!

2 Thessalonians 3:5
May the Lord direct your hearts to the love of God and to the steadfastness of Christ.