{5 sweet years: Carter}

{carter michael cates}

this boy, he is a miracle. 

he has given us a glimpse at love, hope & faith that few ever experience this side of heaven.

celebrate 5 years with us.

tears, i know. isn't our god good!

celebrate carter and give others the gift of life!

www.donatelife.net

and if you want to bless his momma and daddy, check out there business'.

sean, chelle, and carter cates.

{InstaFriday & On My Heart...and a winner}

Okay friends I have to be honest, I kinda forgot about Insta Friday and On My Heart til last night right before we walked out of the house to go out of town.  I quick snapped some photos of things around my house I love to share in some what of a cheater fashion.  Wouldn't you know when I got to the car, in my impatience they never saved....still trying to figure out Instagram. Frustrated, I just figured I'd wait until I scrolled through to the one photo I got last Saturday.

Bella asked to participate in a Model Search at an Outlet Mall about 30 minutes from our house.  As Saturday morning approached I thought she was going to bail on me.  It was quite a big deal for her Daddy to give the okay to such a thing and even more that Bella would even want to...so not my girl's thing.  We got there on time...can I get an amen...and quickly signed in to be told it would be a 4 hour wait for her age group. What?!?! We decided to make the best of it and browse the stores.  Bella is obsessed on trying on heels and had to get a pick in these.

As it inched closer to the time for the youngest group we decided to go watch as we were losing steam in the walking.  Grabbing the only spot to stand and watch we stood patiently waiting for it to start.  We watched as kids walked the cat walk practicing fro their turn and Momma's gave last minute instructions.

My stomach churned and my cheeks got hot.  I scanned the crowd of people catching face after face of little ones from the 4-8 division made up in make-up, heels, and hair teased and hair sprayed to give Dolly a run for her money. And it just went up from there.  My heart for my little girl looking at everyone, I could see in her eyes that she was doing the comparison dance.  The longer we sat, the more I we heard.  We overheard Mom's coaching their daughters on winking at the male judge...teenage daughters.  We overheard the banter of the criticism of the competition. The snide remarks and not so muffled laughter if someone tripped a little or outfit wasn't as polished.  I kept Bella as busy as I could playing on my phone, whispering words of encouragement into her ears.  Sending silent prayers that her heart wouldn't be penetrated by the back biting surrounding us.

I don't know if the make up, the heels, or the hairspray are at all damaging to these little girl (and boys), but we as Mothers and society telling them that beauty is measured in physical characteristics and outward appearance is. As each winner was called in varying divisions of age, kids left the stage crying.  A four year old crying that because in their eyes they weren't good enough is wrong.

In the end my heart is guilty of judging too.  I let the experience serve as motivation to be more intentional with my little ones in setting their eyes on what Christ calls beauty.  On the way home I shared my heart with Bella and she with I.  It was a beautiful time to connect and invest and I was grateful.

Sorry InstaFriday readers if that was a little heavy for your Friday reading.

Thank you for all who commented last week!  The winner is...

 

Yeah Jess!  I will email you, your Shutterfly photo book later this weekend friend!

Linking up with Jeanett and Casey!

XO Jenni

{on my heart...}

Motherhood.  I would say parenting, but really that would be my way of distributing this Momma guilt to my Hubs and I need to learn how to play fair.  My dear friend Rachel posted this incredible post this week, appropriately titled {Using My Words}.  Here's my response:

fat tears. truth echoed. rebuke accepted. so thankful you obey the prompting of the holy spirit, this post was so timely. needing breakthrough in parenting. desperately. are things terrible? no. are they inching further and further away from the cross? yes. an inch a part from jesus is too much. i convince myself that being strict or more conservative in my parenting comes with a sharp tone, tongue even. the truth is, god always speaks truth in love, and if he is my standard, how can i justify the opposite? thank you friend. you can add this to tuesday's prayer request. please, i/we need the body's covering. thank you friend, you are precious to me. love!   

 I do my best to guide and love my kids through the challenges of the world's influence.  I say no a lot.  I set firm boundaries. I'm not always the fun parent.  But the heart issue that stings is that a lot of time I'm an unkind parent.  I'm so consumed with impressing a point that I give little thought to the tone of my voice or the words I choose. Reading this verse, Psalm 139:4 " Before a word is on my tongue you, LORD, know it completely. " crushes me.  To know God knows my hurt before I lash them is embarrassing at best. And then I read this, Proverbs 15:4, " The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit." To know I am responsible for crushing my littles spirit is more than I can bear.  

Why is it that I can be so focused on protecting the wounds they can endure spiritually, physically and emotionally from others but I set up an exempt status on myself. Most people will agree that we as Mothers, have the single most influential impact on our child's life. Yet, I allow pride to supersede that truth.  I also believe the outward behavior and speech from someone reflects their heart.  What must my precious babies think of my love for them when I place the value of what I think over the value of what they mean to me.  Does my heart point them to Jesus with my words or away?

  We adopted a behavior rule from our old church that our children are To Obey Quickly, Completely, and Cheerfully...who wants to obey cheerfully when Momma snaps a command at them?  We also discipline by explaining that if our children know the consequence to disobeying then they are choosing to be disciplined, so if I know the Lord says, "..a perverse tongue crushes the spirit" then I must choose to break their spirit? A lot to take in.  Being disciplined by the Holy Spirit is not for the faint of heart, but the outcome of loving my littles the way God intended me to is a gift I will receive with open arms.   

I am also humbled when I think of this little guy:

my nephew Carter. Carter received his gift of life three years ago today. Amazing considering this little guy went into surgery like this...

and three years later we are rejoicing that he is getting bigger and healthier every day!

 So many struggle to have babies and fight to keep their babies alive, how can I take for granted these precious babes that God has given me? 

 Oh how they make my heart swell! 

Choosing this verse:

Psalm 35:28 " My tongue will proclaim your righteousness, your praises all day long. "

to pierce their hearts today.

Please consider joining the precious family who gave Carter life by signing up to be a donor.

Donate A Life!

{linking up here, come read along}